A breakup can teach you some of the most important lessons in life. Enduring a breakup is the most excruciating pain. It is difficult to stay positive especially if you are at the receiving end of a breakup. Remember that the pain will heal with time and this too shall pass. If you have a broken heart, take this opportunity to brighten your life with some of the learning experiences that a breakup teaches you.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. - Rumi
I truly believe in the above words quoted by my favorite poet Rumi. Each person who comes into your life comes for a reason. It is either to build you up or to change your life forever. Being optimistic will help you find a silver lining in the storm. Once you have moved on and look back in life, you will realize how a breakup taught you some of the most valuable lessons in life.
Read The Most Powerful Lessons I Learned From Breakup That Changed My Life
1. Always Be Yourself.
Never change yourself to be accepted by the person you love. It is not worthy of your time. If you would like to change, then change to upgrade yourself and not to fit in someone else’s world. You don’t have to change your lifestyle or your thought process to be loved by someone. If they can’t accept you the way you are, they don’t deserve you at all. True love is all about accepting someone the way they are and respecting the differences. You can have a difference in opinion but what matters is that you chose to agree to disagree with each other mutually.
2. Never Lose Your Friends.
True friendship is required to live a fulfilling life. I was lucky that my friends embraced me even though I had abandoned them while prioritizing my relationship over everything. Your real friends who understand you will always support without judging you for your choices. So never lose your friends while being in a relationship. If they don’t like your friends, chances are they will have difficulty in accepting you as well and that will be the beginning of never-ending problems. Choose the right kind of people to make your life better and not bitter.
3. Listen to Your Family.
Always remember that the only people who love you unconditionally are your parents. They will never want to see you breaking up or falling down. So never go against your family. I didn’t listen to my family when they warned me about the relationship I was into. I presumed that they didn’t understand the person I love. I was hoping once they meet with each other all the misunderstandings will be clear. But thankfully that day didn’t come. So the lesson is if they warn you about something sit and reflect on the reasons for their worries. Talk to them openly without having an argument. Discuss the possibilities and work through it. Also, get into a relationship only if you know that your family will support your choices and decision. Don’t waste someone’s time and energy by getting into a relationship and not be able to work through it due to a lack of family approval.
4. Be Financially Independent.
If you are in love with someone who doesn’t like you to be ambitious or career-oriented, leave them right away without any second thoughts. A person who cannot support your dreams and ambitions can never be a good companion. I was in love with someone who made me completely dependent on him financially. He manipulated me to the extent that I had to quit my job. I became so helpless after leaving my job that I couldn’t help my family in times of need. So never ever leave your job if someone asks you to do so. Make informed and wise decisions based on your own understanding and financial situations. There are people I know who have an inferiority complex and they would never want to have a working wife, no matter how smart and intelligent she is. Irrespective of your gender, realize that career comes first. Everything else can be taken care of later. If you are financially stable, you can be relaxed and then can focus on your personal relationship without worrying too much about the finances.
5. Don’t Settle for Anything Less.
Keep your standards high and never settle for anything less. Having said that, don’t be too picky. Be pragmatic and learn about real relationships instead of relying on the idea of love. Understand that humans are not perfect. You won’t find all the traits that you are looking for in one person. Know what you want from a relationship and have a heart to heart conversation about your expectations rather than worrying about being judged. It is better to have open communication about the realistic expectation in the beginning itself than regret later about the choices you make.
You might also like to read how to get over a breakup in simple ways.
6. Never Chase Anyone.
If someone truly loves you, you don’t have to chase him or her. Lack of attention and interest shows that person is not really into you. Never chase anyone to beg for love. If there are constant instances where you have to keep making the first move whether it is calling, texting, planning a date, or anything, take it as a sign that the person is not really interested in being with you. Stop chasing people. Let love come to you naturally without struggling for it. You can’t force someone to love you just because you love them. Respect your feelings and let them go.
7. Don’t Fall in Love if You are Lonely, Fall When You are Ready.
Before falling in love, comprehend why you want to fall in love. Is it the idea of love that excites you or are you feeling lonely or are you really looking for long term companionship? Whatever is the reason, do not fall for someone because you like to watch couples doing things and it makes you happy. True love is far from what it seems in books and movies. It needs a lot of understanding and patience. Once you have figured out what you want, it will be easier for you to be into a long term relationship.
8. Take Care of Your Health.
If they are not right for you, relationships will be demanding. It ruins your health completely. This so-called love made me sick to the core. I took my physical and mental health for granted. I lost my appetite which in turn made me look pale and thin. I was under constant stress without even recognizing it which also lowered my blood pressure. This relationship changed me completely physically and emotionally. I lost the grip of my life. If you get sick you are not only troubling yourself but also your family and friends. So prioritize your health over everything. If this love is making you fall sick, it is not good for your health and your heart. It is time that you leave the relationship. Remember that good health is the biggest blessing. Nourish yourself well while you can.
9. Never Lose Your Self-respect.
While loving someone so deeply, I forgot to love myself. I stopped respecting my values and own life principles. I lost my self- respect because I was constantly controlled by the person I loved. I could never share my opinion and my true thoughts about anything. I had lost my own identity. I realized that the relationship was not worthy of my time and effort. I learned that there is no love without respect. So appreciate yourself and never let anyone belittle you for who you are. You will never be good enough for someone who doesn’t value you. Never compromise your self-respect.
10. Be Your Best Version.
If you love yourself and are truly happy, you will naturally attract positive people. Always try to be the best version of yourself. Focus on your life goals, define your boundaries, and create your own life. Strive to do better in life. Learn from mistakes. Let go of people that hurt you. Forgive them for peace. Start a new life focusing on endless opportunities lying ahead. Have an open heart and embrace the beautiful gift of life. True love will find a way even if you are lost.
Final thoughts
Falling in love feels good in the beginning. However, when you start dating the person and start getting to know them better, you will realize what it is to be in a relationship and who the person is underneath. There will be a point in life where you will have to make a choice to stay or leave the person. Remember that you can only let someone hurt you only if you allow them to do so. The day you decide it is enough will be the day that you will truly win. Getting over a breakup is not easy. By the time you realize that the relationship is not working, you have already come far. However, it is never too late to mend things. Take a leap of faith and stand for yourself. Leave the love that is breaking you up. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, you will heal yourself one day.
From this breakup, I learned that resentments and having grudge will only remind you of the person more. I forgave and moved on in life without looking back. After the breakup, I completely focused on rebuilding my life and thrived. I learned my lessons in a hard way and avoided all the mistakes I did in my past relationship.
I am grateful that it is finally over and I recovered from it before getting married. Here is a link to my story of finding true love and happiness.
Have you ever had a heartbreak? What did you learn from your breakup? Let us know in the below comment box.
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