Finding true love in these challenging times can be really tricky. I am a 32-year-old Indian female who has struggled for almost 8 years to find a life partner and here is my story of finding true love.
How The Search For True Love began?
Ever since I graduated from University, my family had been looking out for suitors. The real challenge was that I was the first girl in the whole family who had completed education and hence finding an educated guy was really difficult. We tried all the possible ways like marriage agencies, telling relatives, friends, matrimonial sites, etc. but no success. It was heart-breaking to be rejected for your skin tone, height, thoughts, etc. Neither was I was lucky in love, where I could think of love marriage. I did have a childhood crush when I was in school, and that’s what I considered to be my forever love. But after school, we moved to different places. And in no time, we grew up and then life happened.
So the search for my partner, my true love went on like this for 8 freaking years. It’s a long time and long enough to make you frustrated especially when all your friends have got married and have a family. The peer pressure and other family problems had really taken a toll on my health and my self-esteem. My family was supportive. However, pressures from relatives would sometimes force me to meet families who I knew would reject me eventually. They would then try to convince me to take it forward if at all the family liked me. However, I was not even lucky there. I would get rejected and the reasons are many. The family had almost given up on my marriage. During this whole time, my thoughts matured about life, and also I had figured out what I don’t want in a life partner. I had become independent financially and emotionally and made myself better with each passing day.
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Finding Love Through Matrimonial Site
When the year 2019 began, I thought that I will make this year better and make it mine. As the year started, I had found some grip in life with my career and my health. I convinced myself to try again and find love in the hope of getting married and settle down someday. After so many failed attempts and lost hopes, once again I created my profile on a matrimonial site Shaadi.com with a paid membership.
Initially, the same pattern continued where profiles would hardly respond to your requests, or if they accept your request, they wouldn’t talk further. I managed to talk to a few guys; however, things wouldn’t go forward after the first few conversations. Somehow, in the month of May, I came across a profile. This guy was based out of the South. I looked at his bio mentioned in the profile and was impressed with the description. To begin with, I was skeptical about expressing interest since I knew there was a possibility of another rejection because of so many differences primarily because we belonged to different states. After looking at his profile, I actually thought let us give it a shot and expressed interest.
He had instantly accepted my request and we started chatting online on the app itself. It was difficult to chat there because of some technical glitz. We exchanged numbers and we started chatting on Whatsapp. Thus began our journey of getting to know each other. I saw a lot of challenges and thought that these conversations won’t even last, forget about marriage.
I was a North Indian, settled in Mumbai, he was a South Indian settled in Kerala. We had different cultures, languages, traditions, etc. Above all, he belonged to a well-educated family, whereas I was the only one who was educated in my family. And secondly, how would we know each other without meeting, considering that it would be a long-distance relationship. I had very less hope with this one. But for him, there was nothing like that. He was very open-minded and optimistic and never saw any challenge. He told me that everything can be managed. I got a bit optimistic about him but kept my feet on the ground.
Getting To Know Each Other
Within a short period of time, our conversation grew and we started talking on the phone and then one fine day we decided to see each other online. We connected through the Whatsapp video call. At first, he was very shy; I tried to ease the situation by joking about things here and there. We spoke for a while and then decided to connect again later in the night. Within two months, we got to know more about each other’s lifestyles and personalities. We had a lot of differences when it came to personality, food choices, dressing style, etc. We discussed our career, relocation after marriage, and other general things in life and he was very supportive of everything. In spite of all the differences and challenges, some unseen force connected us together; maybe Almighty brought him in my life for a reason.
As time passed by, during one occasion, he discussed my profile at his home. His family was fine with his decision and choices. It was hard to believe that his family didn’t have any problem. I hadn’t discussed anything about him at my home. I was not sure if things would work especially when we haven’t met in person. Talking on the phone and meeting in person are two different things. I didn’t want to live with any false hope. I was waiting for things to turn real and just go with the flow.
During our conversation, Abram told me to take time and then take a call whether to take things forward or not. Well, he didn’t seem to have any problem with all the differences. For me, all these things seemed too good to be true. I even had a doubt whether he existed for real. I told him to take a decision only after meeting me and my family. Deep in my heart, I had already decided that I wanted to be with him and the meeting was just a formality. But I still wanted things to get real.
Our First Meeting
Somewhere in July, he happened to come to Mumbai. Well, he didn’t come specially to meet me, he had some work to be done and he took this chance to meet me and my family. But actually, it was another way. He came to see me and took this as an excuse to come down to Mumbai. When the date of his travel was finalized, only then I told my family that there is a guy who is going to come and see me. My family was super happy and said that we will meet. Mind you, he was the first guy who would come to meet my family.
He finally arrived in Mumbai; I went to receive him at the airport, excited and nervous. I was glowing and blushing after seeing him. He seemed to be a bit nervous. We spoke on the way to our home and made him comfortable. I told him, not to hurry and worry about anything. He met my family. My family really liked him, again for the very same reason what I liked about him, respect and humility. He told my family that his family will come to meet. He stayed back in Mumbai for another two days to wrap up his work. We kept meeting and getting to know each other. On our last day of the meet, I told him to go back and think with a calm mind about all the possibilities and then make a decision. He had already decided. We both wanted to marry and be with each other. There was no dreamy proposal or so. I didn’t even expect anything because of his simplicity. We were in love with each other but never expressed it in words.
What Did I Really Like About Him?
Respect! I can’t stress this. He had immense respect for women and all beings. It was his respect towards me that made me believe that he is the one. Personality-wise, he was a very kind and humble person. He was shy, simple, and yet sophisticated. He was empathetic. He was a bit lazy, determined, and decisive. He was very open-minded and shared independent thoughts. He was quite well balanced in life. He bought the best out of me. He made me think better. He let me be me. I didn’t have to pretend and was just myself in his presence. He didn’t judge me for anything. The most important thing, he accepted me with all my flaws. And last but not the least, he chose me and stood by me.
Meeting His Family
As soon as he went back home to Kerala, his family spoke to me on a video call. They thought it would be better if my family visit Kerala instead of them coming to Mumbai. It made sense to us and my family decided to visit them the very next month. After our families met, our relationship was formally finalized. They were okay with everything. Our date of marriage was fixed in October. I just couldn’t believe it. Everything that was happening around me seemed like a dream. My family was super happy about it. And then began our marriage preparations.
Our Marriage Story
As soon as our marriage date was finalized, it was time for the preparations. It was already the end of August when things were finalized. I had very little time for the preparations; mainly the wedding shopping. Soon, the day of our marriage arrived. And in no time, by the grace of Almighty, we got married in a very simple ceremony. It was a typical ‘Two States’ marriage. Our marriage witnessed two cultures getting together. Nothing like this has ever happened before. It was a history that was created and our story would be remembered for years to come. It was after 13 years that marriage was happening in our family. My marriage was long due and the most waited.
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| Our Love Story |
When I saw the smiling face of my mom and my siblings, I was relieved and content. My heart cried inside, missing the presence of my deceased father and my grandmother. They would have been so proud and happy to witness my marriage. Everyone was happy around me. My friends who were my rock graced the marriage with their presence. It was the most beautiful day of my life. It was such a long time that anything good happened in my life. And now, I was more than blessed to stand beside a man who meant the world to me.
Until the time we got married, my heart was not at peace at all. Outside, I was very happy, but inside I was scared with all the catastrophic thoughts that ran through my mind. I was worried about what is going to come and what if something bad happens. In all this chaos, I trusted the process of letting the universe play its role and took a leap of faith.
Things in my life took such a dreamy turn. It was hard to believe that finally, things are falling in place. All the struggle, rejections, failure, and patience made everything worth the wait. And just like this, my fairy tale began. It was the beginning of another beautiful journey of life. I am truly grateful to Almighty God for this blessing.
With passing time, our love and respect are growing deep. I have relocated to another state, a completely new city. I am learning about the culture and also trying to learn Malayalam. All my in-laws are very caring, understanding, and supportive. My husband is my rock and my critic. We always discuss things and take a mutual decision. Nobody can support me as he does. I love him unconditionally. We are hoping to grow old together with beautiful memories and meanwhile live this blessed life to the fullest.
I Didn’t Find Love but It Found Me
Someone said it right, you find love when you stop looking for it and with my experience, I absolutely believe in it. I guess I never succeeded in my past attempt of finding love because I lacked self-esteem and I was lowering my standard by giving in to other people’s demands. I changed myself to fit into someone else’s world. I didn’t know how to love and respect myself. I was chasing love. That is where I went wrong.
When I met him, I realized that I had become a better version of myself. I was more confident and I knew what I wanted. I loved myself for who I was. I accepted the real me and it changed the vision of my life. I didn’t lower my standard or got into a compromised relationship. I had accepted that even if I don’t get married, this won’t be the end of my world. I had mentally prepared myself for the worst possibilities and yet lived my life each day.
None of us chased each other or demanded attention. We both are not perfect but we believed in becoming better. We were attracted to each other. Even though it was like a long-distance relationship, we respected each other’s time, developed mutual understanding, and had patience with each other. I trusted the whole process and when the timing was right, everything went with the flow without making any extra effort.
So if you are wondering whether you will find your true love and your soul mate, I assure you that you will. Just don’t stop trying even if it is like the hundredth time. But don’t take this as the only purpose of your life. In the whole process, get to know yourself better, find out what you really want, be open, meet people, love yourself, live your life to the fullest, do things that make you happy and don’t wait for someone else to complete you because you already are a complete person.
Did you find your true love? Let us know in the comment box.
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